Archive for April, 2012

Tickets are now on sale!

Posted: April 30, 2012 in 21st Century, Gigs, New CD

CD Release Party tickets — get ’em while they’re still up for grabs!

Tickets are now on sale for our July 22nd CD Release Party, held at Poncho’s Cabaret in Surrey, BC. Due to fire regulations, we are only allowed a specific number of patrons to cram into the club for this event, so our advice is: Don’t Miss Out! Join us at the Party of the Century while tickets are still available. Once ticket sales reach room capacity, tickets to the CD Release Party will no longer be obtainable and latecomers will be required to camp out on King George Boulevard in order to listen to the band. Rumour has it that you’ll be able to do that anyway, which is why we’re holding this shindig in the afternoon –don’t want to wake the neighbours, don’t you know!

Anyway, because we want this to be a local event, we have decided not to sell tickets online. Instead, head over to to our CD Release Party event page, and indicate whether or not you’re going and we’ll take it from there. Even if you’re *not* going, stop by our Facebook page and say hi, won’t you?

Sparkling Apple onstage at the Bow Fiddler, Langley BC in 1978. Photo by Stolie Sylte.

Buzz Constantly at 1981 photo shoot.

Art onstage at the PNE Gardens, 1979.

Kevin at the North Vancouver Rec Centre, 1993.

As promised, our new CD is being released on Sunday afternoon, July 22, 2012, and we hereby invite you all to our CD Release Party for what is technically our debut CD, “Hard Core Apple”! That’s right, the last Sparkling Apple release was on vinyl, mainly because (as we noted earlier) CDs hadn’t been invented yet! Join us, won’t you, in the luxuriously-appointed and decidedly notorious Pancho’s Cabaret, located behind the Flamingo Hotel in Beautiful Downtown Whalley, in Surrey BC. The cabaret in question used to be called Pancho and Lefty’s with a country music policy, but because Lefty left, this establishment is currently a no-holds-barred, over the top rope, no disqualifications rock & roll nightclub, featuring some of Surrey’s best tattoos.

We will be printing tickets in advance of the party, so pre-sales will go online soon — stay tuned for ticket info, which will appear on this blog as well as on the Sit-On-My-Facebook event page . Click HERE to access it and to see who else is brave enough to make an appearance.

As of this writing, we are considering charging a nominal fee for entry to the party, for which you will also receive a free CD as well as directions on how to escape from Whalley before things get ugly. Once the party’s over, you’re on your own, dude! <ha! Just kidding!> The bar will definitely be open, serving all your favourite adult beverages for your responsible consumption (yeah, right). Sparkling Apple will be playing a medley of our hit, live on stage, and the fun begins at 2 pm (so that aging rockers can get home in time for the 11 o’clock news and our tapioca pudding) . Rumour has it that there will be free food and hot girls, but this has so far been unsubstantiated.

At this time we wish to make it clear that any gate receipts, pre-sold tickets or CD sales will be used to pay for CD manufacturing costs and studio time. At no time will any proceeds be divided among the band members (although I *would* like a new Lamborghini to sit in the driveway of my palatial estate – but that’s not important right now).

Let the games begin!

Sparkling Apple in 1978, with Buzz Constantly, Captain Maniac and Art the Fart the Heavy Metal Kid.

Art at Gary Taylor’s Rock Room, 1979. Photo by Dee Lippingwell, altered in Photoshop by Colin Hartridge

Here’s yet another chapter in our Return to the Fray, featuring more photos taken by our resident photographer, Lisa Freakrock (OK, that’s not her real name: her real name is Helen Wheels (or is it Amanda B. Reckonwith? Maybe it’s Eileen Dover? Not sure!) Anyway, here are some more Friday the 13th Sparkling Apple photos at Amber Jack’s in Surrey (April 13, 2012). Three To Get Ready, now go, cat go…

Sparkling Apple in an artsy-fartsy black and white shot!

Mindless Boogie

Because we know what to do with it

Power Play

Live in Technicolor and 3D Sludge Sound!

Rock n Roll All the Way From Mars

In Part Two of Antiques Horror Show on Friday the 13th (April 13, 2012), the band ventured on to Amber Jack’s Pub to see The Shindiggers. (Amber Jack’s is located in the Compass Point Inn, which was formerly known as the Days Hotel, and before that the Surrey Inn.) Although by that time of the evening we had reached the final frontier of our beverage consumption, the evening’s band, The Shindiggers announced our presence and asked us to get up and play a few tunes! Whale Oil Beef Hooked, as Captain Hindgrinder used to say, so we strapped on our respective instruments and locked into Standard Operating Procedure: get it right or say good night! Rather than perform our new release (which has already gone plywood in Grande Prairie, by the way), we chose to play songs we could actually remember, namely Let’s Dance (the feelthy version), Play That Funky Music White Boy and ZZ Top’s La Grange. “On with the show this is it,” to quote Bugs Bunny, and lurched into analog old-school music guaranteed to produce bleeding eardrums. Although we were born to be mild, we still can’t stop rockin’…. Drunk rock – you’ve got to be drunk to play it and drunk to appreciate it.

All photos by the extremely talented (and highly patient) Lisa Freakrock.

The lovely and talented Art the Fart The Heavy Metal kid on lead guitar. Resistance is futile!

Missing person of interest, Kevin Swain on bass

Captain Maniac on drums at Amber Jack’s, most likely performing “Slow Motion Walter”

Captain Maniac and Kevin Swain onstage at Amber Jack’s. Play dat funky music!

Coming this summer to a Surrey bar near you! Yes, we have finalized our CD release party, which will be held on the afternoon of July 22, 2012 (so that our target demographic can get home early in time to catch the 11:00 news). More info to be announced as news happens, so stay tuned – same Bat-station, same Bat-time! For now, we present An Evening With Sparkling Apple in two Surrey locations, Poncho’s and Amber Jack’s (to enlarge the images, just click on each one)…

From the Bottomless Pit of Sparkling Apple memorabilia, here’s a shattering memory and incriminating photos from the Disco 70s! Back in 1977, we did everything in our power to combat the unwanted scourge of disco (for the most part, we succeeded), and continued performing what Jerry Lee Lewis referred to as “The Devil’s Music” — that’s right, kids: RAWK and ROLL! When the Bee Gees were screeching the unconscionable, albeit highly lucrative, soundtrack from Saturday Night Fever, Sparkling Apple would be in the back country where rock & roll was still king. One of our favourite locations was The Answer nightclub in Chilliwack (run by the sadly-departed Huey Sinclair), as shown in the following photos.

In 1977, the band consisted of Art the Fart the Heavy Metal Kid on guitar, Captain Maniac on drums, and the certifiably unhinged Stringbean on bass guitar. Not sure who the photographer was for these shots, but in any event they were all taken one summer night in The Valley. The “Rocky Bongo” sequence has been omitted, in deference to the squeamish.

An interesting tale here, and one which has an Answer connection: A few weeks previous to our Chilliwack engagement, we had performed at a Nanaimo nightclub, namely the Longhouse. The story goes that we showed up for our Saturday night show, only to find that one of our kick drum mics was missing in action (inasmuch as we played six nights in a row in the same location, we chose not to stow any stage gear after each show). The mystery of the missing Sennheiser 421 was traced to the fact that the band following us into the Longhouse (the name of which escapes me at the moment) had actually been in the club during the afternoon, and a particularly light-fingered drummer had pilfered one of my microphones! Not content to let this bastard get away with such a stunt, I consulted their booking agency to see where they were next appearing. The answer was…. THE ANSWER in Chilliwack! Fortuitously, we had that week off, so on the Monday night, I made the trek out to Chilliwack to retrieve my errant microphone. I got to the club early, prior to their evening show, and sure enough, my missing Sennheiser 421 was attached (by way of a clumsy duct tape job) to the band’s kick drum mic stand. I claimed a seat right up front, and when their drummer arrived and saw me lying in wait, his heart visibly sank — busted! His excuse was that “oh, I bought it off a guy for $50 in Nanaimo”! Suppressing the desire the rearrange his facial features, I told him, “if you give this microphone back to me, you’re only out fifty bucks. If I let you keep it, I’m out three HUNDRED bucks. Fair deal? Fine. Have a nice gig,” at which point I exited with my microphone by my side. Sheesh!

The Answer was where the “Zombie Episode” occurred: One night, during our final break, an audience member offered to buy me a drink. When he asked what beverage I wished to consume, I answered, in true smartass fashion, “I’ll have a Zombie”! (containing 3 different kinds of rum). To make a long story short, by the end of the break, the audience member had purchased not one, not two but THREE Zombies for the unsuspecting but gracious Captain Maniac. It was time to complete our last set, so I stumbled to the stage, only to confront yet another “round of drinks for the band” sent from the audience. Due to popular custom, our band was expected to down 3 tequila shooters each before playing the last set. Needless to say, after the shooters and the Zombies, I scarcely remember that evening’s final set. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in my underwear, in my own bed at home! At the time, I thought, “Alright, how the hell did I get here, and who took my pants off???” (Sven, one of the Rancid Road Crew, later volunteered the information that I had been given a ride home and he had safely tucked me in to bed!)

Captain Maniac 1977

Art and gold-top Les Paul at the Answer, Chilliwack 1977

Art onstage at the Answer, Chilliwack

Stringbean onstage wearing a particularly stylish wig. The hub cap hanging from the drums used to belong to my dad’s old ’54 Chrysler.

Art displays our new line of Sparkling Apple t-shirts. Colours in 1977 were yellow or blue background. In 1978, we offered shirts with a black background.