Archive for June, 2012

As Captain Beefheart sang in “Big Eyed Beans From Venus”:

“Distant cousins, there’s a limited supply.
And we’re down to the dozens, and this is why:
Big Eyed Beans from Venus! Oh my, oh my.” No, this has absolutely no relevance to the CD Release Party, but the few remaining tickets left still reminded me of the Captain’s lyrics!

Anyway, it is now official and can finally be told: we are indisputably, irrevocably and without question SOLD OUT! Thanks so much to our old friends and followers, The Apple Corps! To everyone who bought a ticket for our CD Release Party, we couldn’t have attempted this gathering without your loyal support. We appreciate it, we really do. Sparkling Apple hereby announces that we have only a handful of tickets left for any procrastinating stragglers out there who haven’t yet availed themselves of a cheap one-way pass to The Celebration of the Century. Some folks have asked us to “hold on to a couple of tix for me”, and aside from those, we have VERY few tickets left. We MIGHT (and that’s a big MIGHT) have some tickets with us at the Summer Bash/Farewell to the Lynnwood in North Vancouver on July 6 & 7, but at this point, that prospect appears to be doubtful. If you haven’t got a ticket yet and still require one, you know what to do: our event page on Facebook is open 24/7, and of course you can send me an email at

Are we ready? Then let’s begin…

Fun with “Pix” app on my iPhone.

Let’s get ‘artsy fartsy” with some photography, and who better to be the guinea pig but Art the Fart himself! On our most recent visit to Alchemy Sound Studios, I took a few pictures with my iPhone, and after some haphazard manipulation in an app known as “Pix”, I created the above monsterpiece. The photo was taken at the same time as the photo on our What’s In A Name blog entry, except that the photo on that page was altered in Photoshop.

In above pic, Art is playing the stuido Les Paul through a D/I (translated, that means he’s playing a vintage guitar and instead of using an amplifier, the signal is “direct input” into the mixing board). The song in question was Kevin’s own “Crazy For Your Love”, which needed a stronger guitar intro, and which Art was only too happy to provide.

New Sponsor!

Posted: June 17, 2012 in 21st Century

We have another sponsor, and this time the company in question couldn’t be more appropriate! The Realistic Success Recovery Society, headed by our old friend Gary Robinson, is behind us for our CD Release Party. We apologize to RSRS for not getting their logo on our poster, but the fact is that Scott Beadle’s poster was printed long before we HAD any sponsors. We were too late to add “Sponsored by The Now and Realistic Success Recovery Society”! However, the Now will be publishing an advertisement for this event, and Realistic Success Recovery Society’s logo will be included.

Art the Fart the Heavy Metal Kid and Buzz Constantly at Gary Taylor’s Rock Room, 1979. Photo by Dee Lippingwell

Buzz and Art at Gary Taylor’s, 1979. Photo by Dee Lippingwell.

SOLD OUT SOON!! Thanks to the hard working efforts of Rosie, we only have a few tickets left for our July 22nd CD release party. Get yours FAST before they’re all gone. Yes, we still have some reserved tickets for the people who have asked us to “hold on to a couple of tickets for me” — but now that we only have a few tix left, we have to respectfully ask these folks to purchase their tickets now if not sooner. Don’t be disappointed — get your tickets for this event before next weekend by sending an email to In the subject line of the email, just type your name, how many tickets you need, and your phone number, and we’ll get back to you ASAP. Thanks for your support!

Speaking of Apple… As Steve Jobs was fond of saying, “One more thing…”

It’s now official — the new title for our CD, by unanimous vote, and suggested by “Anonymous” on this blog, is “Hard Core Apple“. Not surprisingly, the logo we intended to use for the CD cover (the wheelchair logo with the figure playing a guitar) turns out to be a registered trademark: “ On 11/15/2004, a U.S. federal trademark registration was filed for GUITARDED. This trademark is owned by Media Solutions, Inc.”. So Steel Wheelchairs Rehab Tour 2012 is now the name of the tour only, not the CD itself.

Gird your loins and be prepared for the new Sparkling Apple CD, Hard Core Apple, soon to be available at your local Home Hardware Store (just kidding!). The CD will initially be for sale at Sparkling Apple performances, but before long, our website will be offering these discs online.

Art undergoes the Andy Warhol treatment at Alchemy Sound Studios

Our producer Scott Young mentioned that the title of our CD, namely Steel Wheelchairs Rehab Tour 2012, is somewhat misleading. The album is not a concert recording of our current tour, nor is it 100% live. In fact, it’s a tribute to the old Who LP “Magic Bus: The Who On Tour, on which the somewhat deceptive title implies that the songs were recorded live, whereas all recordings on that album are in fact studio tracks.

An astute observation, and we had thought of pointing this out on a disclaimer found on the back of the CD.

No, this is NOT a document of what Sparkling Apple sounds like onstage in 2012! The title is merely what we decided to call the CD. We could have selected all manner of titles, including Scott’s choice, The Odds Are Good But the Goods Are Odd, as well as a pantload of other potential handles, including:

All You Can Eat
Antiques Horror Show
Auntie Gravity
Because We Know What To Do With It
Bleeding Eardrums
Born To Be Mild
Buzz Saw to the Brain
Can't Stop Rockin'
Digging Up Some Old Friends
Drop the Acid NOW
Drunk Rock
Free Beer
Get it Right or Say Good Night
Get Over It
Hard Core Apple
Gone Plywood
Is All This Noise To Cover Up a Lack of Talent?
Keep On Rockin'
Make It So
Meeting of the Mindless
Mindless Boogie
Missing Persons of Interest
My Way or the Highway
Old School Is Cool School
On With the Show This Is It
Persons of Interest
Play at your Own Risk
Plywood Hits
Power Play
Prognosis: Negative
Resistance is Futile
Ride That Bomb
Rock n Roll All the Way From Mars
Roll Em On Down
Seems To Me I've Heard That Song Before
Slow Motion Walter
Standard Operating Procedure
The Final Frontier
The Good, The Bad and the Average
The Whole Enchilada
Those Thrilling Days of Yesteryear
Three To Get Ready
Total Recall
Vintage Mayhem
Whale Oil Beef Hooked
What Might Have Been
What Were We Thinking
When In Doubt, Throw It Out
When Men Were Men and Sheep Were Nervous
Within the Realm of Great Achievements

With so many available choices, we at first chose Steel Wheelchairs Jihad Tour 2012, but not wishing to risk a terrorist retaliation, we dropped the Jihad (and substituted Rehab)! In any event, folks, you can call it what you want, but I call it messin’ with the kid (thanks to Junior Wells for that one). Seriously, though, most people will refer to this CD as Sparkling Apple’s Greatest Hits, in spite of the fact that we didn’t HAVE any hits. In the words of Miles Davis, “call it anythang”!

So do you think, people? Should we change our CD title, or is it too late in the game for that sort of foolishness?

Dress Rehearsal!

Posted: June 7, 2012 in 21st Century, Gigs, Rock n Roll

To prepare ourselves for our July 22nd CD release party, we are embarking on our official Steel Wheelchairs Rehab Tour! First stop is a “special guest” slot at the highly-steaming and venerable Lynwood Inn in North Vancouver BC, site of many a festive occasion and social gathering, or so I’m told. On Friday, July 6th, Sparkling Apple will be co-billed with North Vancouver’s own House Party, featuring the frenzied guitar stylings of the frighteningly talented Joe Staples. Tickets for this event can be obtained by contacting Joe Staples himself at 778-999-3069. Good luck and may The Fart be with you…