Archive for July, 2012

Captain Maniac with the amazing Scott Beadle, who is modelling our new line of t-shirts. Photo by Lisa Freakrock

Due to the superhuman sales effort by our T-Shirt Girl From Hell (namely Joan Roe), we wish to take this opportunity to let you know: our t-shirts are nearly SOLD OUT! Many thanks to everyone who bought a Sparkling Apple Steel Wheelchairs Rehab Tour 2012 t-shirt at the CD release party, and judging by the appearance of the crowd, many of you helped us out by purchasing this coveted rock & roll garment. Good on you all!

We need to let you know that pretty much all men’s sizes have been sold, with the exception of some XXL (for beefy endomorphs like myself). The shirts remaining at this time are the “Girlie Sizes”, as Joan so appropriately puts it. If, therefore, you are of the female persuasion, we still have several shirts of women’s sizes. Bear in mind, however (and thanks to Rosie for pointing this out), that you should order a size or two bigger than usual, owing to the fact that the ladies’ sizes are on the tight side (just fine if you wish to flaunt “the girls”!). If we have sufficient response to this amazing offer, we will reorder a second batch of t-shirts and offer them on our website.

If you would like a commemorative Sparkling Apple Steel Wheelchairs Rehab Tour 2012 t-shirt, for the low low price of only $20, please contact me (Captain Maniac) by clicking the Contact at the very top of this page.  I could even be persuaded to deliver the shirt right to your door if you live nearby (and have a few brewskis ready & waiting).

One of our “girlie size” t-shirts. Glenn Kyllonen looks amused!

And while we’re in Flog mode (get those CDs and t-shirts out the door, because they won’t be here tomorrow!!), we must mention:

To purchase your very own copy of Sparkling Apple’s latest and greatest CD, Hard Core Apple, Canadians may click on the button below — this will transport you, through the magic of the Internet, to the PayPal e-commerce site in San Jose, California! Your order will be processed and yours truly will ship out a CD in a plain brown wrapper. Only $10 and worth every damned penny, if you ask me (and you didn’t). For you USA and Euro people (or for that matter, anywhere else on the planet) head to the Official Sparkling Apple website, where the appropriate links and feisty ESL operators are standing by. “What do I have to do to get you to drive away with one of THESE babies?”

Colin on the drums at the Hard Core Apple CD release party (photo by Lisa Freakrock)

Art at CD Release Party (photo by Lisa Freakrock)

Colin and Kevin (photo by Lisa Freakrock)

Acid Man!

Sin City with Captain Maniac – Scott Young on drums (photo by Lisa Freakrock)

Kevin closeup (photo by Lisa Freakrock)

Gather round, boys and girls, it’s story time! Grab a beer or a coffee or cheesy comestible, & relax while we tell you all about our CD Release Party, held at the decidedly stimulating Pancho’s Top 40 Rock Club in Surrey, British Columbia. As mentioned in our previous blog “An Epic Success” , many months of planning, rehearsal and mobilization went into the preparation for this event — and to see the whole shindig evolve into a work of Art (or Kevin or Colin) was especially gratifying — we pulled it off! Once again, thanks to all participants, including the hard-working Rosielynn Crosby, who sold the lion’s share of the advance tickets; Kevin Feres, who was our absolutely amazing soundman at the show; Les, Laurel and the staff at Pancho’s (including the incredible Lisa Poulson, Waitress Extraordinaire) for supplying us with the venue to make all of this possible; our little Lisa Freakrock for being staff photographer; Joan Roe for manning the merchandise table & being Extreme T-Shirt Girl From Hell; Petra Hoffman for presenting a 50-50 draw for the benefit of her Hepatitis-C Initiatives (while looking drop-dead gorgeous at the same time); and most important of all, our rocking and enthusiastic audience for making the whole afternoon worthwhile.  I know I’ve left out so many names at the moment, but you know who you are, and we cannot express enough gratitude for your support! You RAWK!

And of course we must give HUGE, Apple-style thanks to the one and only Scott Young, who not only produced and engineered our CD, but also played drums for the songs where Captain Maniac mounted the stage (seen above) and sang his way into oblivion. It was an afternoon to remember!

So here’s a play by play. Once we’d organized the merchandise table and set up the door staff to hand out CDs and stamp hands, Les the DJ proceeded to unearth some jolly old tunes from the past. Unfortunately, Les wasn’t entirely clear on the concept of a CD Release Party, and only played a few tunes from our new CD rather than play the whole thing all the way through as is the custom elsewhere. But he did play “Classic Rock” hits instead of his beloved Dance Music, so the music choice was, well… choice!

Things got off to a running start with our depraved version of Let’s Dance, (“Hey baby won’t you take a chance, I left my rubbers in my other pants”) and despite some sacks and fumbles from Captain Maniac, we managed to set the mood from the start: this will be a rude, crude and socially unacceptable afternoon – this is your final warning.

After the beer-hall versions of  Waitin For The Bus>Jesus Just Left Chicago and the old rock band chestnut Born to be Wild>Magic Carpet Ride, things took a turn for the unexpected: after cautioning the audience that “we do not play no rap music”, Kevin sang Play That Funky Music, White Boy! Time for a quick change — Captain Maniac rose from the drumkit to grab the mic and become Jimbo the Frontman, during my Mum’s favourite song, Roadhouse Blues. In this song, the rather scrappy (but smooth) Scott Young played drums, and was a fearsome and formidable force despite having gigged the night before with his own band, The Shindiggers. And yes, my Mum (spry octogenarian that she is) got up to dance during this song, with the help of my cousin Wendy Sikorra. Too loud for my Mum? No way… not loud ENOUGH!

Speaking of beer, we then launched into a REAL blast from the past: our very first record: a loose and greasy version of Only Here For the Beer, followed by an actual Led Zeppelin song to show that we could do it, namely Ramble On, featuring Rubber Planet on vocals. (Jackie Brown was seen tripping out to an old memory during this one!) The spirit of the Lizard King followed with LA Woman, and the set ended with the Whalley National Anthem, Shakin All Over>Gloria. Lighters were seen illuminating the dance floor!

Next up, a well-deserved beer break! After signing more autographs than I’ve ever encountered in my life, Sparkling Apple continued the afternoon’s festivities with a decidedly appropriate tune: Robin Trower’s Too Rolling Stoned. It was then time for a return to the scene of the crime with Captain Maniac: Scott got back up on drums, and AC/DC’s Sin City reared its ugly head, complete with Captain Maniac’s rather unconvincing attempt at a Bon Scott imitation! Wait a sec… are you guys gonna play anything from the new CD? Well I’m glad you asked: Captain Maniac stayed up front and sang the b-side of the first single from the CD, namely Crazy For Your Love.

The afternoon ended with our surf music medley: Papa Oom Mow Mow>California Sun>BarbaraAnn>Wipeout, which quickly degenerated into garage-band territory, followed by “Play some f**kin’ CCR, man!” (Born on the Bayou). Prior to the “last” song of the set, we told the audience that we were saving our BEST SONG for the encore. Now JUST IN CASE we get an encore, we will of course play our BEST SONG, so perhaps we’ll see you later (hint, hint). At this point,  audience members were instructed to “Get out your football helmets and your bottles of Extra-Strength Tylenol, because he’s here! A survivor from the 60s”. After a flourish and guitar feedback the likes of which have not been heard since the days of Jimi whatshisname, Art woke up the joint with the dulcet tones of  ACID MAN: Earache my Eye>Purple Haze>All Along the Watchtower.

And it was all over but the shouting! After Les’s shouts of “You wanna hear more??”, we climbed back on the stage & told the audience, “An encore? My goodness, what a SURPRISE”. We first jumped into ZZ Top’s Beer Drinkers & Hellraisers, but ended the afternoon with a medley of our hit, Buzz Constantly’s epic It’s Criminal! (Buzz, you will be finally compensated — hang in there!) Thanks to all who attended and made this event a success — let’s do this again sometime!

To purchase your very own copy of Sparkling Apple’s latest and greatest CD, Hard Core Apple, Canadians may click on the button below — this will transport you, through the magic of the Internet, to the PayPal e-commerce site in San Jose, California! Your order will be processed and yours truly will ship out a CD in a plain brown wrapper. Only $10 and worth every damned penny, if you ask me (and you didn’t). For you USA and Euro people (or for that matter, anywhere else on the planet) head to the Official Sparkling Apple website, where the appropriate links and feisty ESL operators are standing by.

An Epic Success!

Posted: July 26, 2012 in 21st Century, New CD, Rock n Roll

Party Hearty!

To purchase your own copy of Sparkling Apple’s new CD “Hard Core Apple”, click on the Buy Now link!

Our CD Release Party, held at Pancho’s Top 40 Rock Club in Surrey on Sunday (July 22) was an unqualified success! All the hard work and effort in staging this event was compensated beyond our wildest expectations. Everything went according to plan, the band was rockin’, and Rosie & crew were awesome. Special thanks to our t-shirt girl, Joan, who kicked major butt selling souvenir t-shirts!

The event, of course, was to promote the release of our new CD, Hard Core Apple, and we are proud to announce that it is now available for purchase on our website. Go to the Official Sparkling Apple Store, and place an order according to your location on the planet. For example, we’ve got “buy now” links for Canada, USA and Anywhere Else in the World.

As mentioned on social media sites, photos taken at the CD Release Party will appear on our website and here on the Offiical Sparkling Apple Blog, when said pictures have all been edited and processed for your approval (i.e., when they’re good and ready). And rather than wait for Rolling Stone or Loudwire to write a review of the CD, we will naturally supply our own song-by-song evaluation, written by the College of Musical Knowledge himself, Mr. Colin Hartridge (WTF, that’s ME!).

Art, Kevin and Colin at CD Release Party

Kevin and Les

Joan, our t-shirt girl!

Seven More Sleeps

Posted: July 15, 2012 in 21st Century, New CD, Rock n Roll

Only a week to go! We’re getting pumped about our CD Release Party, and it looks like it’ll be a full house — on a Sunday afternoon in Whalley! Don’t forget folks, all tickets have SOLD OUT, so if you’re still considering going but haven’t yet bought a ticket, PLEASE let me know at, and a)we’ll rustle up some spare tix, or b) put you on the guest list or c) send you to Guildford to view the Walmartians. The people who have asked us to hold their ticket for them (you know who you are) MAY be out of luck unless they act promptly and send us some cash!

Sparkling Apple at Pancho’s — smiling demon behind Art!

Amazing what you can do with an inkjet printer and some ID tags from Staples! Yours truly has put together some nifty-looking ID tags for the July 22nd CD Release Party, and these will be distributed among band members, crew and media for identification purposes. If you go outside and the bouncer gives you static on your way back in, you can just flash your handy-dandy Tour Tag (and go “nyah nyah” if the mood strikes you). We do not have “Friends of Lisa Freakrock” ID tags, nor do we have “Drug Dealer”, “Local Heavy”, “Undercover Cop”, or “Rat Wrangler” tags at this time.

By popular demand, the Sparkling Apple “Steel Wheelchairs Rehab Tour 2012” t-shirts are NOW hot off the press and available for a limited time! As this is a trial run, we’re going to have them on sale at the CD Release Party at Pancho’s (July 22nd, 2012), with the intention of selling them online at a soon-to-be announced date. So, dear readers, if you wish to get one for yourself or significant otter… er, OTHER — our merchandise table will be fully stocked with these items at the CD Release Party. We’ll let you know when online sales start, OK?