Monumental Binge Part 2: Bowling For Food

Posted: January 24, 2011 in Rock n Roll

Photos, Left to Right:

Captain Maniac at Speedway Hall, August 77

Gerry Flasch (our lighting tech) at Speedway Hall, August 77

Ed “Sweat” Wilson at Speedway Hall, August 77

Two drunks in the balcony at Campbell River Rec Centre 77

Ding (our soundman) at Campbell River Rec Centre 77

Stringbean just reminded me on Facebook that the Rolling the Rock story isn’t quite finished yet. I’ve forgotten a couple of details, so in order to set the record straight, here’s Part Two of the Monumental Binge ’77:

As mentioned, both bands embarked on a Vancouver Island Tour, which lasted until our endurance or supply of beer ran out (whichever came first). In the above photo of “two drunks in the balcony”, Art is joined by Berrycup bassist The Prez, as they are contemplating the evening’s festivities at the Campbell River Rec Centre, and are apparently feeling little pain. Our afternoon soundcheck was punctuated by brief interludes with a bottle of Southern Comfort, which I had been transporting in my not-inconsiderable overalls. As the gig was in August, the Southern Comfort was now the temperature of lukewarm tea, but was enthusiastically enjoyed nonetheless.

It was at Port Alberni, however, where our merrymaking and animated amusement reached its nadir. As Port Alberni was Berrycup’s home town, Sparkling Apple’s assignment was to be opening act, a mission heartily accepted (because it meant the rest of the evening off, with some serious imbibing involved). After a workmanlike set of blue-collar farmhand rock n roll, the band went into party/mingle mode, while Berrycup did their usual stellar job of entertaining the crowd. After going their separate directions and left to their own devices, Sparkling Apple band members enjoyed the proceedings to the extent that yours truly, by that time well-liquored up and befuddled after gobbling MDA, mounted the stage to participate in whatever music Berrycup was providing. For some reason, Art’s guitars were still onstage, so I grabbed his gold-top Les Paul and started playing along as a guest guitarist. There were two interesting factors in play here: 1) I couldn’t play a guitar if it came up and bit me on the ass, and 2) the guitar was not plugged in to any visible amplification! But I soldiered on a la Jimmy Page or Ted Nugent, or whoever was the flavour of the month guitar god in 1977, and broke two strings while in the process. At this point, I had the presence of mind to put the guitar back where it belonged (i.e., somewhere onstage, preferably leaning against an amp), and after sufficient flailing and posing (in my quest to be the before-mentioned flavour of the month guitar god), I decided a wise idea would be to find somewhere suitable to pass out.

Amazingly, the spot I chose was at the top of the bleachers in the Port Alberni Rec Hall. While Berrycup played, I dozed, and settled down for a well-deserved nap. The next thing I knew, I awoke at the BOTTOM of the bleachers, covered from head to toe in bruises and welts. Before I could question, “Who shit on me?”, it became obvious that I had rolled from the top of the bleachers to the bottom — while ASLEEP, mind you — and regained consciousness in a slightly altered condition. Ouch!

By that time, Berrycup had finished their set, and it was now time to tear down the gear and load the trucks. While in load mode, we somehow discovered a ten-pin bowling ball backstage. Now correct me if I’m wrong (and I might be), but I believe the bowling ball in question belonged to Ed “Sweat” Wilson of Berrycup, and similar to my famed hat rack, was one of his onstage props. At any rate, said bowling ball was now in our possession, and like any self-respecting sports fan, thought it appropriate to be Alley Gators while three sheets to the wind. One of us lofted the ball down the hallway in a vain attempt at Bowling For Food, and down the “alley” the ball sailed — until it reached the men’s washroom. With an almighty explosion followed by a terrifying gush of water, the force of the bowling ball totally destroyed one of the toilets, causing untold destruction and water damage! Our reaction was typical of most musicians — “let’s get the hell out of here!!” We wisely chose to exit the premises immediately, but it was a few days later that we got a nasty phone call from the management of the Port Alberni Rec Hall about the desecration and our rowdy vandalism. Somehow, we had been identified as the perpetrators, and our solution to rectify the damage was to pay for the levelled toilet as compensation. As it turned out, any money we had made that evening now had to be used to pay the City of Port Alberni!

Keep on rockin’,
Captain Maniac

  1. That naked photo of Ed “Sweat” Wilson — could that be considered online porn and naughtiness? The other night my Facebook account was suddently “unavailable”, and I thought, “Oh Jeez — THEY mistakenly have me confused with those creepy guys who post porno pictures on their web site, and my FB account has been deleted as a result. Yow!” (Turns out it was just a “site problem” and I’m back on the air.)

    Hey, Barry, if you’re out there, drop us a line!

  2. garywalchuk says:

    that was the highway to hell tour 4 days of drunken out of crontol fun wild ladys

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