Pull the Goalie! (Hockey Night in Kandahar)

Hockey at 2AM! Outside our band house in Nanaimo in 1981, Puppy the Roadie (Steve K) and Buzz Constantly face off, with Art in goal. Woody watches through the window, photo by Captain Maniac.

With Canucks fever currently gripping the land (in Canada, anyway!), here’s a shoutout to Art the Fart the Heavy Metal Kid, who never missed a televised NHL game while on the road with the band. Back in the day, “Hockey Night in Canada” was on CBC-TV on Saturday nights (still is, if I’m not mistaken). All Sparkling Apple members were rabid hockey fans — except Captain Maniac, who would haughtily “harrumph” while the game was on. When winter winds were colder than the business end of a sorceress’s mammary, musicians and roadies alike would hunker down in front of The Box for a dose of hockey mayhem. Philosophically speaking, this behaviour no doubt would mobilize & prepare us for an engaging evening of rock n roll later on, particularly as there were no referees or officials at the nightclubs we played. We would have to supply our own calls, such as “too many men on the stage” or “penalty for pissing on the ice”, or “Sparkling Apple 3 – Audience 0: a f**king SHUTOUT!”. Art would follow the Toronto Maple Leafs, and was ecstatic when Sparkling Apple played in Toronto in 1980 — he actually had his picture taken in front of the iconic Maple Leaf Gardens. (see below)

Art outside Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto, 1980.